From the monthly archives:

April 2009

I found a wonderful blog post from Sarah (Rashidsmom.com) that should relieve some working mothers of their angst over how their children will turn out. It appears that the key determinant to child development isn’t whether or not a mother works but the quality of the time that she spends with her children.

Sarah cites a 2005 The University of Texas study that did not find any developmental problems in children whose mothers worked outside the home. Dr. Aletha Huston, the study’s director states, “The mother is an important source of care then, but she doesn’t have to be there 24 hours a day to build a strong relationship with her child.”

Some of the points of the study include:

•infant development is not delayed when a mother works outside the home.
•a mother’s personality, including their beliefs and the quality of their parenting was more important than the amount of time spent with their child.
•working mothers spent more time with their children on days off.
•working mothers spent less time on household chores and leisure activities.
•there were no differences in social behavior, cognitive ability and language development whether mothers stayed at home or worked.

Sarah concludes,”children will thrive based not on how much time they spend together,with their mothers but on the quality of time spent together. mothers that are comfortable with their decision, are confident in their abilities and provide loving and nurturing homes have the best chance of raising well-adjusted children, whether they work outside the home or stay at home.”

Amen to that!

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Working Moms and Stress

by Yvonne Bynoe on April 23, 2009

Many working mothers will not admit that they are burned out. To do so would be an admission that they are not Superwomen—able to balance family obligations and work demands while wearing high heels. However three sure signs that you are burned out are:

-loss of interest in regular activities;
-loss of sleep;
-or feelings of panic.

In an article, “Working Mothers,Where is All of this Stress Coming From?” psychologist, Dr. Sherrie Bourg Carter is quoted as saying that once a working mother determines that she is burned-out, she should take steps to detemine why. Among the reasons that Dr. Carter cites for stress are:

•Limited time
•Not enough money (at least not enough to do the things you feel you should be doing for your children – ie: enrolling them in all activities)
•Pressures from the spouse, who may feel neglected because of the time you spend on other things
•Physical and hormonal changes from childbirth and aging
•Worrying about the children in a general sense – their safety, their well being

As a coach who works with working mothers, I see these stress factors all of the time. I frequently coach my clients to take steps to address, one by one, the things, people or activities that are causing them to burn-out. It’s important that working mothers clients realize that they can’t keep running on fumes. They are not only jeopardizing the quality of their own life and health, but also the quality of their most treasured relationships.

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