What is your story? We all have one. We use our stories to define ourselves and to create our lives. Maybe your story is, “I’m someone who doesn’t know how to make money.” It could be, “I’m shy and it’s difficult for me to meet new people. Another is, “I’m a working mother so I’ve got no time for myself.”
The problem with most of our stories is that they have very little to do with who we really are. Frequently your story is based on beliefs that you’ve gotten from other people. You probably picked up information from your parents about about yourself and on topics such as money, relationships and motherhood. You may say that you’re bad a sports because you were picked last for dodge ball, everyday in the third grade. Now your story is simply a regurgitation of what your parents said and/or what some kids said to you in the third grade. Unfortunately you haven’t considered whether or not you really believe what they said about you. You probably haven’t challenged these versions of you, although they are integral to the decisions that are creating your life.
In other instances our stories may have been true at some point but they are no longer relevant. Suppose you had dated a string of losers before meeting your current husband/partner. If your story is ”I’m you’re not good at relationships,” you’ll bring that concept of you into your present situation. Instead of enjoying the relationship, nurturing it and using it to grow yourself, unconsciously you may sabotage it because you’re not really expecting it to work. Instead of being compassionate and seeking loving resolution to problems, unwittingly you may create conflict with your man. Compassion and resolution don’t advance “your story,” but conflict does.
My story was based on my liberal arts snobbery. It went something like, “I am a writer, a speaker, a person of ideas, I don’t know anything about business.” The idea of having to promote myself and my work seemed crass. Consequently I gained a good reputation as a writer and public speaker, but my income was unstable—feast or famine. Why? Because I treated my work like a hobby and not as a business. I had no marketing or publicity plan, no annual revenue projections and my bookkeeping was a joke. With some mentoring I realized that in order to serve more workings mothers, to pursue my life’s purpose that I had to educate more women about what I do.
Like me, you now may be seeking to make changes in your life. You may have experienced some devastating event such as a job loss, a death or a divorce that’s made you reassess your life. If you haven’t dealt with a crisis you may finally be acknowledging the nagging feeling you’d had that your life could be better. It’s at this point of recognition that you want your life to be more abundant in one or several areas. You may desire financial freedom, better health, more loving relationships, supportive friends, etc. So how do you get it?
You’ve got to write a new story. New Year’s resolutions, goal-setting and affirmations are all useless if in your head you are repeated the same old, limiting story about yourself. Your new story has to detail what you want to bring into your life. My new story is, “I am a successful entrepreneur who’s grateful for the opportunity to be able to work from home and to receive a great income for empowering working mothers through my writing and speaking.”
I’m not going to lie and say that now I’m a millionaire because I changed my story. What I will say is that by creating a new story about myself and my work, I immediately felt different energy. This new feeling of abundance has also led me to reach out and to meet new people who can help me with my business. They are helping me to learn how to more effectively market and promote my work. This new feeling has also led me to build more structure and intentionality into Yvonne, Inc.
I don’t believe in get rich quick schemes or overnight success. Success takes work and dedication. However, if you are pursuing personal and professional goals that have meaning to you, “work” can be fun and financially rewarding. I believe that my new story is helping me to lay the groundwork to meet my a new goals. I’ll keep this version of “my story” until I’m ready to move to the next level.
I think that the take-away is: As your story changes, your life changes.
Possibly of interest:
Are You Treating Your Home-Based Business Like a Hobby
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Yvonne Bynoe is the founder of SophisticatedWomanandMama.com, a company that teaches working mothers how to lead more productive, but less stressful lives. Download her FREE report: 5 WAYS TO LOVE YOUR LIFE NOW and STOP BEING A GUILTY, STRESSED OUT WORKING MOTHER at SophisticatedWomanandMama.com
You can also connect Yvonne on Twitter: Twitter.com/YvonneBynoe
and on Facebook at Facebook.com/YvonneBynoe
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