Comments on: The Power of Saying Goodbye http://sophisticatedwomanandmama.com/2009/12/15/the-power-of-saying-goodbye/ "Teaching Professional Women How To Go From Being Underpaid to Earning Their Worth" Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:54:36 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: admin http://sophisticatedwomanandmama.com/2009/12/15/the-power-of-saying-goodbye/comment-page-1/#comment-122 admin Mon, 26 Apr 2010 14:23:40 +0000 http://sophisticatedwomanandmama.com/?p=2079#comment-122 Hi Sab: First thank you for giving me the opportunity to re-read this post. It made me remember that clearing out of old relationships isn't a once a year thing. It's a when you need to do it, do it. My ramble aside...I am glad that my post helped you to remember how fabulous you are and how you need to be around people can help to support and celebrate your fabulosity. In my case and in yours the people who are no longer in the picture aren't meant to be there :) Hi Sab:
First thank you for giving me the opportunity to re-read this post. It made me remember that clearing out of old relationships isn’t a once a year thing. It’s a when you need to do it, do it. My ramble aside…I am glad that my post helped you to remember how fabulous you are and how you need to be around people can help to support and celebrate your fabulosity. In my case and in yours the people who are no longer in the picture aren’t meant to be there :)

]]> By: Sab http://sophisticatedwomanandmama.com/2009/12/15/the-power-of-saying-goodbye/comment-page-1/#comment-121 Sab Mon, 26 Apr 2010 13:25:50 +0000 http://sophisticatedwomanandmama.com/?p=2079#comment-121 This is a fantastic article, and it's helping me with some relationship 'clear outs' i'm dealing with right now! That line about 'playing small to make other people feel comfortable' really hit the mark. It's awful to feel so accomodating and supportive of others when you're not getting it back - resentment, right?! And like you i do think 'oh god, but i've known these chicks for so long'. But then, life is too short. Plenty more fish in the sea. Thanks for the clarity Yvonne Sab x This is a fantastic article, and it’s helping me with some relationship ‘clear outs’ i’m dealing with right now! That line about ‘playing small to make other people feel comfortable’ really hit the mark. It’s awful to feel so accomodating and supportive of others when you’re not getting it back – resentment, right?! And like you i do think ‘oh god, but i’ve known these chicks for so long’. But then, life is too short. Plenty more fish in the sea. Thanks for the clarity Yvonne
Sab x

]]> By: admin http://sophisticatedwomanandmama.com/2009/12/15/the-power-of-saying-goodbye/comment-page-1/#comment-69 admin Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:33:07 +0000 http://sophisticatedwomanandmama.com/?p=2079#comment-69 Sofia: Thank so much for your heart felt comments. Given the sometimes difficult choices, adulthood is not always fun. What I know for sure is that I definitely feel younger and freer than I did years ago. Yvonne Sofia:
Thank so much for your heart felt comments. Given the sometimes difficult choices, adulthood is not always fun. What I know for sure is that I definitely feel younger and freer than I did years ago.
Yvonne

]]> By: Sofia Quintero http://sophisticatedwomanandmama.com/2009/12/15/the-power-of-saying-goodbye/comment-page-1/#comment-67 Sofia Quintero Wed, 16 Dec 2009 02:46:17 +0000 http://sophisticatedwomanandmama.com/?p=2079#comment-67 I once read that it takes tremendous self-esteem to "break up" with a longtime friend, and I believe it's true. It takes tremendous self love to look at another person who has been in your life for a very long time and say, "If I cannot be authentic with you, then it is harmful for me to stay in relationship with you, and I choose not to do that." Should we go through the motions of friendship so as not to hurt someone? I actually think it's much more compassionate and respectful to be honest than to start doing things like making plans you intend to cancel or zoning out during conversations instead of being present. We do such things to protect not them but ourselves -- namely, our self-image as nice people -- when we do things like that. You proved that you were not mercenary when you attempted to have the difficult conversation about how your interactions were making you feel. That was your invitation to them to build your friendship based on who you had become and wanted to become. The way they respond was their RSVP: no. But who knows? Sometimes a relationship needs space/separation to grow. There's always a possibility that after some time has passed, you can rebuild a relationship based on who you both really are rather than who you were 15, 20 years ago. But even if that doesn't happen, by ending the relationships, you have created both space and energy in your life to attract the kind of people who can accept you for who you are now and champion who you committed to being. Kudos to you. It's not easy. But it's one of the secrets of adulthood. :-) I once read that it takes tremendous self-esteem to “break up” with a longtime friend, and I believe it’s true. It takes tremendous self love to look at another person who has been in your life for a very long time and say, “If I cannot be authentic with you, then it is harmful for me to stay in relationship with you, and I choose not to do that.” Should we go through the motions of friendship so as not to hurt someone? I actually think it’s much more compassionate and respectful to be honest than to start doing things like making plans you intend to cancel or zoning out during conversations instead of being present. We do such things to protect not them but ourselves — namely, our self-image as nice people — when we do things like that. You proved that you were not mercenary when you attempted to have the difficult conversation about how your interactions were making you feel. That was your invitation to them to build your friendship based on who you had become and wanted to become. The way they respond was their RSVP: no. But who knows? Sometimes a relationship needs space/separation to grow. There’s always a possibility that after some time has passed, you can rebuild a relationship based on who you both really are rather than who you were 15, 20 years ago. But even if that doesn’t happen, by ending the relationships, you have created both space and energy in your life to attract the kind of people who can accept you for who you are now and champion who you committed to being. Kudos to you. It’s not easy. But it’s one of the secrets of adulthood. :-)

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