Welcome to the Soulful Affluence (formerly known as Sophisticated Woman and Mama). I want  to thank you for coming to this site and giving me the  the opportunity to create a dialogue with you.  The name change better reflects these two ideas:

1)  Money matters if you want to design a lifestyle that allows you to comfortably meet your financial obligations  AND reflects your values and beliefs.

2)  Marketing matters if you want to serve the many people who could benefit from your work . This web site is dedicated to helping creative entrepreneurs to generate more income from their work.

The goal of Soulful Affluence is to  teach you how to generate more income from your passion. In short, to move you from inspiration to having paying clients for your work. I learned quickly that writing books while rewarding doesn’t pay the bills—creating a business from my writing and speaking however did. You’ll get to learn from both my successes and my mistakes.

Here’s Why I Can Help You:  An introduction….

I have been a professional writer and speaker for 16 years.  I established the print newsletter, Full Disclosure: The Business of Hip Hop as a law student. The newsletter provided legal and business information, in plain English, to aspiring artists and entrepreneurs. The success of the newsletter lead to a “standing room only”  panel seried held monthly in Manhattan.

My panels discussion created a buzz for me that led to me to be becoming a sought after speaker at entertainment and professional conferences.  I also wrote music business columns for several music publications including TheSource. com, where I began to focus on the intersection between politics and culture.  In 2003 I was included in The Source magazines’ “7th Annual Power 30 Issue.”

Over the years I’ve had the honor of speaking at numerous schools including Columbia University, Harvard University and Duke University about politics and culture.   I was also a regular contributor to National Public Radio.  BTW, I am graduate of Fordham University School of Law and I am a member of the New York State Bar.

In 2004 I debuted my first book and became a mother.

Stand & Deliver: Political Activism, Leadership & Hip Hop Culture (Softskull Press, 2004) is still used in college curricula around the country and the reference book, Encyclopedia of Rap and Hip Hop Culture (Greenwood Publishing, 2005) has been called the most comprehensive to date.  My work is also included in several anthologies including, We Got Issues: A Young Women’s Guide to a Bold, Courageous and Empowered Life eds. Rha Goddess and JLove Calderon (Inner Ocean Publishing, 2006).  My lastest work is the motherhood anthology, Who’s Your Mama: The Unsung Voices of Women and Mothers. Foreword by Rebecca Walker (Counterpoint, 2009).

I Don’t Mean To Brag…

In my career I’ve gone from paying my own way to appear at conferences to being a speaker paid between $1,000 - $5,000 (excluding air fare and hotel) for a 60-90 minute talk or panel.  I’ve received $500 for reprint rights for an essay (a year or two old) and up to $5,000 for a new essay.  Having a book and a brand (reputation) helped me to garner great fees.  I have learned however that creating a business and doing regular marketing is the means to get out your message (or art ) and consistently be well paid for it.

Over the years the common thread of my work has been to provide people with valuable information that can improve their lives and their livelihoods.

Soulful Affluence will be valuable to anyone who’s committed to a creating a business that provide personal satisfaction AND an excellent income. You can also follow me on Twitter. I f you want to learn more about how I help creative folks earn more money Click Here

Join the conversation; I cannot wait to meet you!  I’ve had the great fortune of having some great mentors as I’ve went about blazing a trail that was authentically me. I understand how important it is to mentor women business owners. Think of me as a  new girlfriend who’s willing to share her experiences with you. Pose your questions and your comments and I’ll answer back. Here’s to you and taking your career to the next level!

Step Into Your Greatness!

Yvonne

Why did you start your business? It’s not a trick question. Most folks will immediately say, “To make money,” but there is usually another reason lurking beneath that slick answer. Maybe you want to be able to provide your children with a great education and extracurricular activities; perhaps you’d like to retire with a nice nest egg. Maybe you started your business because you truly believe that your product or service can improve people’s lives. Financial success or failure hinges on your abilty to create a sustainable and profitable business.

It’s an important questions to ponder. Why? Because the underlying reason you started your business, not the dollar signs, is what will keep you motivated to slog through all of the terror and confusion that’s associated with being a business owner. Whether you having a successful business is to benefit you, your family or the world, you know that failure is not an option for you.

But if you’re like me, you may have started your business and then quickly realized that being an entrepreneur was no joke. You learned that having an idea or even a good product or service is not enough to create a financially viable business. In the beginning you may have poured money and time into your business without generating a dime of income. You may have also become overwhelmed by all of advice and strategies that are being touting as the “answer” to developing a money-making business.

After spinning my wheels for a bit, I’ve realized that regardless of the “system” or “blueprint” that is being discussed there are three (3) main components to building a sustainable business. I caution that these are not quick fixes to instant riches, think of them instead as building blocks.

1) Planning:
Call it goal setting if you like, but it boils down to deciding what you want/need to achieve within a given time frame. Do you want to launch a new product? Write a book? Get invited to speak at a professional conference? Open a an online or brick and mortar store? Clarity of purpose is important. Why is this goal important to the success of your business? It’s also important to set a deadline for the attaining the specific goal. Deadlines gives us humans a needed sense of urgency. I can’t forget this— You need to plan how much money you want/need to generate a month or per quarter. I personally learned the hard way that real businesses don’t run on a “I’ll make do with what I can make” basis. As a solopreneur, your income is tied to your revenue projections and your calculations on how you can achieve that dollar figure.

2)Execution:
Basically this involves mapping out the action steps that you need to take to support your goal(s). If you are launching a new product, your actions steps may include: doing some market research; writing or recording content; interviewing experts in the field; investigating vendors who can manufacture the product. If you plan to make $5,000 a month, then you need to determine how many units of your product(s) you need to sell or how many clients, you will need to achieve that income goal. Essentially each goal can be broken down into a series of smaller action steps.

3) Marketing:
It’s how you regularly educate your target audience about your product or service. Most of the experts agree that solopreneurs should be spending between 2-4 hours per day on marketing activities. It sounds like a lot of time, but what’s the point of working to refine your product or service when you have no clients? Marketing activities include: creating new offerings for your target audience (products, tele-classes, programs, services); researching and following-up on opportunities; connecting with your clients. Client contact can include one or more of the following: sending out regualar blog posts (written, audio or video); sending out a monthly e-newsletter; interacting daily via social media such as Twitter or Facebook.

Mastering the building blocks of business development is critical to your business. After you’ve got these principles down, then you can move on to the delving into the shiny, exciting bells and whistles.

Here are some related posts that you may find helpful:

Solopreneurs and Freelancers: Do You Have A Business Improvement Plan?

Chris Guillebeau’s Annual Review: Overview and Outline (It’s not too late to do the exercise)

Danielle LaPorte’s The Secret to Self-Promotion: Radiance and the Facts, Jack

P.S. If you enjoyed this post today, do me a favor and share it on Twitter, Facebook, Digg, or any of the other sites you see below as well. And I’d love to get your feedback

(Original version posted 1/10)

My intention as an author, speaker and self-sufficiency coach is to help women to live fuller lives.  The underlying philosophy of my work is that a woman needs financial independence in order for her  to be able to exercise autonomy over her life and affairs.  To put it bluntly: If someone else is footing your bills, then it’s them, not you who’s calling the shots.  

In my mission to empower women I’ve had the pleasure of participating in the BnB Summer Diva Series Creating the Life & Love You Want on BlogTalk radio, hosted by author Michelle Grant .  The show airs every other Wednesday at 9pm EST.  Michelle, fellow panelist, attorney and blogger, Carolyn Edgar and I use our airtime to talk about how people can improve their finances,  careers, relationships and overall lives. 

In My Effort to Pay It Forward…..

I’m offering the listeners of the BNB Summer Diva Series, an opportunity to WIN a  Single Session Private Money/Mindset Coaching with me  (a $165.00 value). There will be at least one winner for each show.

What You Can Expect from a Money/Mindset Coaching Session: In this 1 hour, concentrated session I’ll work with you to resolve a specific financial issue in your life. This is an intense and powerful coaching experience that will reveal what’s holding you back and identify your next steps.

To be Eligible To Win:  

1.  You must be at least 21 years old and female. 
2. Email me a paragraph that discusses that problem that you want help with and what you hope to gain from a Private Money/Mindset Coaching session with me. Please be sure to include your full name, age and contact information.  I will announce the winner(s) for that week on the BNB Summer Series. You’ll have to DM or email me that evening to claim your coaching session. My email address is Yvonne@Sophisticatedwomanandmama.com
3. If your on Twitter, then Re-Tweet 5 of your friends about the BnB Diva Summer Series w/a  link to http://sophisticatedwomanandmama.com  

Since everyone can’t win a coaching session….

 You may want to consider purchasing my 3 part audio course, How To Achieve Financial Freedom From Where You Are Now! For only $25.00 you’ll receive approximately three hours of information that will help you address your money obstacles and plan a strategy that put you on a new financial path.

Madonna is a master at reinventing herself. Throughout her 20+ year career she’s had several different personas, including: NYC club denizen; The Material Girl; Ms. Erotica, British Madge, Madonna the humanitarian and now Madonna, fashion designer .  These incarnations represent the changes in her life as she matures and exposes herself to new people and to new ideas.  She’s also a singer, so if she happens to debut a new hair color, a new religion or a new accent prior to a new album, I’m not mad at her.  Like her or hate her you can’t say that Madonna’s predictable and stale. Average Janes could learn a few lessons from Madonna on personal evolution. Ask yourself, is you life moving forward or is it standing still?

Consistency isn’t a virtue whether you’re a pop singer or a web designer—it’s the kiss of death.  Many women cling to the past because it’s known—it’s safe.  They cling to hairstyles that they adopted in high school.  They cling to clothes that they’ll never wear again. They cling to relationships that are no longer satisfying. They cling to jobs that provide a steady, if inadequate paycheck. Even worse– they cling to ideas about who they are that no longer serve them.

To reinvent yourself is an admission that your wants, needs and desires have changed through maturity and/or experience. 

So why do women stick to outdated versions of themselves? Because they’re  afraid to envision a “new me”.  It’s easier to do what you know, rather than branch out into uncharted terrritory. They’re comfortable in the sameness. They’re scared of the prospect of having to start over in a new job, relationship, city, fill in the blank.

Reinvention requires a  sense of personal autonomy. You need to base your decisions on your own life; the life that you want to lead. You shouldn’t make choices based on other people’s lives  or on what other people think your life should be. Some people will not like the new you—the hair, the clothes, the attitude or the higher paying gig (and they’ll let you know it). 

Reinvention requires risk. Your reinvention could be a colossal flop, particularly if it doesn’t improve the quality of your life or make you feel better about yourself.  

The alternative is to resist change and hope that everything and everyone in your life also remains static.  

Self- Reinvention is important because you can’t stave off change by denying it.  In the words of motivational speaker Les Brown , “Either you run your life or life runs over you.”  Self-reinvention allows you to be the key decision-maker in your emotional, spiritual and financial evolution. If you don’t embrace change you’re inviting other people and circumstances to define you.  Stubbornly holding on “what used to be” or “who you used to be” won’t miraculous transform it into present tense.

Today, think about where in your life are you resisting change? 

·Your personal appearance? (hair, make-up, wardrobe)

·Your job?

·Your marriage or other personal relationships?

·Your home decor?

Then ask yourself why have you been unwilling to make changes.

What is your underlying fear? 

What support do I need to step into the next phase of my life?

P.S. I’d love you to help your audience, women’s organization or your group of friends become financially authentic. Here’s how you can hire me to speak at your event.

A woman needs high self-esteem to live an emotionally and financially rewarding life.  If your self-esteem is low (you usually feel unattractive, dumb, or unworthy)  you’re more likely to accept  any salary and any man that comes your way. If you have poor self-esteem you’ll cling onto a job that underpays you and onto a bad relationship because you believe they are what you deserve .

According to the National Association of Self-Esteem, “Individuals with defensive or low self-esteem… generally lack confidence in themselves, often have doubts about their worth and acceptability, and hence are reluctant to take risks or expose themselves to failure. 

It’s important that every woman strive to be the best, healthiest version of  herself.

It’s normal to have some insecurities, however you can take steps to improve your feelings about yourself and your capabilities. By increasing your self-esteem you’ll set a higher standard for how you allow yourself to be treated by friends & romantic partners.  You’ll also realize that you deserve to earn a salary that give you the ability to comfortably meet your expenses. You will then take steps to raise your income by negotiating with your current employer or by finding a new one.

5 STEPS TO BOOSTING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AND YOUR INCOME

1.  Make a list of your past successes.  This list doesn’t necessarily have to consist of major achievements like climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro.  It can include your “minor victories” such as learning to cook, graduating from college, receiving an award or promotion, or completing a CPR course.  Read this list often to reinforce that idea that you can succeed. 

2. Associate with positive, supportive people.   Release or severely cut back on people who constantly put you down or your ideas about improving your life.  You want cheerleaders in your corner— people who accept you as-is yet encourage you to grow emotionally, spiritually and financially. 

3. Stop putting yourself down.  You can’t develop high self-esteem if you continue to tell yourself that you’re not shit.  Counter negative thoughts about yourself and your abilities with positive thoughts about who you are and what you’ve done. You can also repeat affirmations to reprogram your thinking. Affirmations are  statements such as “I like and accept myself just the way I am”, “I am somebody, I love myself, I believe in myself”.   When say the affirmation,  allow yourself to REALLY feel the truth and positivity of the statement.

4. Make a list of your positive qualities.  Write down at least 10 of your positive qualities. Are you honest, helpful, caring, resourceful or funny? Review this list often.  Most women dwell on their flaws and shortcomings. Start focusing on your positive traits and you’ll have more confidence to achieve your life and income goals.

5. Set aside at least 15 minutes each day for personal development. Meditate, pray, journal, listen to inspirational music or read a motivational book to set the tone of your day. Setting the intention that your daily interactions and experiences will benefit you  is a powerful, life-changing strategy.

Also of Interest:
How 50 Cents and Self-Worth Are Connected to Underearning

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Photo Credit: Daisy Starr

If you ask most women the question, “Would you like to be a millionaire?” the vast majority of them would raise their hands and say yes.  The reality is that there is a big gap between the number of people who want to become millionaires and the number who actually become millions.  In the United States less than 9 percent of the population are millionaires. Of that 9 percent, only a small fraction are women.  While most women claim that they want to earn more money, few of them are willing to change their lives to do it.  The truth is, you can’t be an underearner and be on track to make millions.

What separates the women who become millionaires from the women who don’t make it?— It’s decision.

You’re probably scratching your head.  Yes decision is the key factor that separates millionaires for non-millionaires.  Decision is also what distinguishes women with high incomes from women who are underearners.  You have to first decide that you want to earn more money. You have to believe it’s a real possibility for your life.  Then you have to ready and willing to step into new situations that will move you toward your goal.

Most women get stuck because they won’t decide that they want to make more money.  Saying, “It would be nice, one day to make $100,000″ isn’t the same as saying, “I’m going to make a $100,000 next year, hell or high water.” The former is a vague wish, the latter is an energized intention.

Once you decide that you are going to earn $100,000 you begin to think of ways to make it happen: ask for a raise, get a promotion, change jobs or go back to school.  If you’re a solopreneur you’d realize that you need  to make $8,500 per month. That equates into 15 clients paying you $567.00 per month or 8 clients paying $1,000 per month for your product or service.  It’s roughly $283.00 per day that you need to earn in your business.

Deciding that you’re going to earn more money doesn’t require that you immediately have all of the answers.

It doesn’t require that you have a solid plan. What it requires you believe that you’re enough, right now, to earn $100,000. It also requires that you’re willing to be uncomfortable as you transition from being an underearner to a high income earner. It requires that you have a coach or mentor to guide you along the way.

If you’re ready to make the decision to stop being underpaid and start earning the money that you deserve, please contact me to join my Group Coaching Program

It’s still a fact that most professional women make less than their male peers. Women also tend to be underearners—consistently making less than they need or desire.   That being said, most women would rather have a root canal than negotiate their salaries or ask for a raise.   Most women are uncomfortable asking for money.  Not only do they fear that their pay request will be rejected, but also that they’ll be viewed as overly aggressive.  Unfortunately women’s fears about talking to their bosses about money are not totally unfounded. 

 A recent article in the New York Times “A Toolkit for Women Seeking a Raise” points out that stereotypes about women can hurt a woman’s ability to get a raise. It seems that a woman who asks for a raise is still viewed as “less attractive,” than her female co-worker who keeps her mouth shut.

The solution however isn’t to suffer in silence.  According to the article, a new study concludes that women need to approach salary discussions differently than men.  A woman, it suggests, should frame her raise  requests in  more indirect ways to avoid damaging her relationship with her boss.  If it’s been more than a year and a half since you’ve had a pay increase…it’s probably time to gear up top ask for a raise.  Harvard University associate professor Hannah Riley Bowles gives her suggestions on effective ways that women can negotiate a pay raise.

Be Proactive: Don’t expect that your boss is automatically thinking that you need a raise.  It is your job to ask for it.  Point out your contributions and find the best time to talk with your boss.

Be Prepared: Do your research and find out what your peers are being paid.  Information is critical to getting a raise.  Use web site such as Payscale.com and Salary.com to obtain information about what the average pay is for your position in your region.  You can uses sites such as AtGlassdoor.com and Vault.com to find out  salary information for specific companies. Don’t forget going to HR to find out the salary range for your position.  Also talk with colleagues and peers, particularly men, about salaries in your field or industry.  (I’ll add: Frame the pay increase in terms of a percentage rather than a flat number i.e. “I’m seeking a 10% percent salary increase.”  rather than “I’m seeking a $10,000 pay raise.”)

Tailor Negotiations:  Explain why your request is appropriate— focusing on the company’s good, rather than your own.  According to the study, this strategy goes a long way in helping to maintain a good work relationship with your boss.

Anticipate: Anticipate objections and be prepared to address them.  If you fail to get a raise this go-round, ask your boss for recommendations for what you could do to move to the next level of your job.  This shows that you’re still in control and attempting to be a team player even in the face of rejection.

When it comes to getting more money….”Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Research, preparation and clarity about what you want are critical tools to obtaining a needed raise.

Let me be clear…. I’m not a relationship expert. I’m a self-sufficiency expert. I coach women about how to earn more money. I teach them how to take control of their personal finances.  That being said, this past  Tuesday I posted the following message on Twitter: “I talk about prosperity, 2 me prosperity is having a joyful life w/ gd health, gd relationships & u r not stressing about money.”

In response a woman sent me the following in an email: “Yvonne, you mention relationships, in your coaching work, would you recommend that a woman who is professional, date a “non-professional” man, or a man who does not have “traditional” (8-4p, or 9-5p) job or means of income?” 

Here’s my response to her:

“I think that our relationships, romantic and platonic mirror some aspect of who we are. The job title isn’t really the issue. The real issue is whether the man is financially self-sufficient. Is he comfortably meeting his financial obligations…or his he struggling to pay his bills..or living in his mama’s basement? If the man is struggling maybe dating shouldn’t even be on his radar… improving his financial stability should be his priority,

As women we have to be conscious about our financial expectations of men. Do men need to make six figures because we expect them to pay the bills, or to create a particular lifestyle for us…and potential children? I think that if women are coming to the table, able to take care of themelves (needs & wants) financially then they can be open to a man who’s financially self-sufficient but perhaps making less money.

Women should have standards about the men that they engage. Those standards can include an array of things: begin unattached, not having…children w/different women, bad credit, no employment, history of infidelity, etc. Is the man underemployed or stuck in a dead end because he refuses to improve his education or skills?—those issues may speak to his character. However, money don’t make the man. If the man is handling his funds, is respectful, loving, supportive and open to growth—then his paycheck or job title shouldn’t be the main determinant of whether[or not] he’s viable candidate.

This is my 2 cents. I hope that it helps.

Yvonne

Here are two follow-up tweets on this subject.

It’s true that many men can’t handle a woman making more money than them. Often that’s tied 2 issues of control. 

A man not bent on controlling a woman isn’t interested in her salary, he’s interested in her person.

I’d love to know your thoughts in this topic!

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Photo Credit: Felipe Beize

Are You A Woman Who Knows That She Needs To Get Control Of Her Money…. BUT Isn’t Sure Where To Begin?

You’re VERY concerned about creating financial security for your family but you’ve got raked up credit card debt, have little savings and are receiving less income than you deserve.

You’re wondering why you’re still juggling each month to pay all your bills—even when your household income appears sufficient.

You know you need to manage your personal finances. But you can’t muster the time, interest or motivation to implement a money plan…. Why is that?

You may be thinking:

Chances are, these reasons have very little to do with why you’re not managing your money.

As a mother of a small child, many of these thoughts have gone through my mind. Unfortunately I began to see what happened to mothers who were not paying attention to their finances. Women like me: college-educated and living comfortably in the suburbs, were devastated financially as a result of divorces, unemployment and the illness/death of spouse. For every woman who I met who weathered her financial storm, there were probably five others who were drowning—along with their children. I realized that I owed it to myself and to my child to plan for a rainy day. More important it was better to do it before some crisis hit. I still procrastinated. I knew that as an adult I should stand on my own two feet. Yet I didn’t take deliberate steps for a long time. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t being more pro-active.

One question began playing repeatedly in my mind:

“Can I REALLY create financial security so that I can take care of my family–regardless of what happens?

The answer to that question (plus a whole lot more) is what I’m going to teach you in my newest teleclass:

7 Steps to Achieving Financial Freedom From Where You Are Right Now

Day 1 ( May 12): How to Identify & Release Limiting Money Beliefs

Day 2 (May 19): How to Stop Underearning and Make the Money You Deserve

Day 3 (May 26) How to Protect Your Rights & Assets

The regular price of this course will be $25.00, but this is the first time I’m offering it so I’m giving an introduction you’ll get the course for FREE. The only catch is that you must register by Tuesday, May 11, 2010 at midnight EST. All you need to attend is a telephone, a notebook and a pen.

I look forward to “seeing you” on the calls!

Warmest,

Yvonne Bynoe,
Your Self-Sufficiency Coach

1.  I am ultimately responsible for my financial well-being—-not my spouse/partner, relatives, employer or the government.

2.  I ensure by whatever means necessary that my children are housed, fed, clothed and educated.

3.  I make taking care of my money a life priority—I pay close attention what’s coming in and what’s going out.

4.  I am a life-long learner on the topics of earning, saving, and investing money.

5.  I do not use shopping (and overspending) as a way to boost my self-esteem.

6.  I am a full participate in my household’s money management–whether I work outside the home or not.

7.  I have the smarts to make good financial decisions for myself and my family.

8.  I contribute money and/or time to organizations, charities, places of worship or people who reflect my values and beliefs.

9.  I release all my negative beliefs about money (and those who have it) that are blocking my financial growth.

10. I understand that financial freedom isn’t about becoming  a millionaire; it’s about having the ability to comfortably create the lifestyle that best reflects me.