Working Mothers

When you are a working mother there simply is no such thing as balancing your family and work. Inevitably when you show up in one realm you’re absent from the other.

Today more than 50 percent of women with children under the age of 18 years are employed, at least part-time, outside the home. Unfortunately this means is that there are millions of working mothers who are stressed out, tired and angry because they are trying to do it all alone. They are also feeling guilty because they can’t do everything, all at once, perfectly.

Let’s me be clear, all mothers work. However some mothers are employed because they need the income…period. Other mothers work because they have a desire to contribute their talents and skills to the world.

Whatever your reason for working, understand that if you are not enjoying your life now…when will you? When your kids are in college? When you win the lottery? The time is now for you to create a work and family life that speaks to your interests and needs.

It’s not selfish to take care of your emotional and physical health. It’s actually a loving gesture. Think about it. If you work yourself into exhaustion or illness who will take care of your children? What will happen to your spouse/partner? If you are always frazzled or pissed off, how are you affecting your relationships with your family and colleagues.

In prior generations mothers had a support system, women who lived near them–a mother, grandmother, aunts, cousins, friends to provide both hands on and emotion assistance. Modern mothers lack such a support system, however they feel like failures because they can’t manage every aspect of their lives alone. Can you relate?

It took me a long time to ask for help. I felt incompetent, a new and debilitating emotion. Why couldn’t I take care of an infant, write books and cook fabulous meals (everyday)? I was smart, so I thought that if I planned and managed my time, I could make it all happen. But real life happened and wrecked havoc on my neat agenda: my child would get sick; I’d get sick; meetings would be re-scheduled; and childcare arrangements fell through.

Through these humbling experiences I learned that I couldn’t balance my work life and family life. Instead I learned to prioritize and eliminate. I started to concentrate on the tasks, personal and professional, that REALLY mattered to me and I start ditching and delegating the other stuff. I also learned to ask for assistance–whenever I needed it. I have also decided to invest in myself by working with coaches and consultants, who could give me the tools to move my life and business forward.

I’m now in the position where I believe that I can pay it forward and help working mothers to designs lives that work for them and their families. I want to share with women my journey as a mother-author-entrepreneur. I also want to teach the principles that I’ve developed that have helped me to create a work, family and personal life that I truly enjoy.

I will be hosting my first live event in New York City on Saturday February 20, 2010. The Sophisticated Woman and Mama salon will be an intimate gathering for women to share and connect. My is intention is that each women walk away with tools to make immediate changes in her work and/or family life. This experience is for all working mothers (married, single, divorced) and for mothers who want to explore entrepreneurship and/or writing.

The Sophisticated Woman and Mama salon is the opportunity for a small group of women to connect. Space is EXTREMELY limited and on a first come, first served basis. It’s an affordable $35.00 for the three hour discussion. Since the number of participants is intentionally small, you’ll have the chance to have meaningful interactions with me and the other working mothers in attendance.

Of course I’d love to see you at the debut Sophisticated Woman and Mama salon, but I’m more interested in you taking a step toward loving your life NOW—not some time way in the future.

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Photo Credit: Davide-Dusk

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By John Maddin

Are you a working mother who believes that her small business will be the next “overnight success? Are you a solopreneur or freelancer counting on that call from Oprah or QVC to catapult your revenue into 7 figures? Sorry to break it to you but most “overnight successes” spend years developing their businesses. This means that to be successful, solopreneurs and freelancers have to create and implement their own business improvement plans.

Malcolm Gladwell in his latest book, Outliers asserts that successful people have devoted at least 10,000 hours to their pursuits. He indicates that numerous studies show that this magic number shows up regardless of the person’s profession—musician, athlete, author, computer programmer. 10,000 hours is a lot of time to focus on one thing. If you dedicated 20 hours a week, to perfecting one skill in one year you would log 1,040 hours. At that pace, it would take almost 10 years of constant effort (9.61 years to be exact) to get to 10,000 hours.

As a working mother and solopreneur I don’t have the luxury of devoting twenty hours a day to perfecting only one skill—I’m running a business and taking care of my family. I have however realized that success is not something that just happens. It requires commitment and diligence to learning about the various elements that make your business function, whether you are an author (like I am), a graphic artist, a web designer, an interior designer or a real estate agent. It also requires that you prioritize your time to get those valuable “practice hours” into your daily and weekly routine.

One way to get your practice time in is to establish a weekly improvement program. Figure out the four key elements of your business. For instance it could be: customers, employees, products/services and marketing. Throughout the week take notes and jot down ideas as to how you can improve your business. (Improving could mean outsourcing a particular task/duty to someone more competent). Once a week devote 2-4 hours to reviewing the ideas that you’ve collected and figuring out how to use the solid ones to use in your business. By continually honing your business it’s conceivable that in a year (or even less) you will begin to see the fruits of your labor.

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